Sometimes when you’re in a relationship, you don’t make much time to do things we did while we were single. Instead of dwelling on the fact that you are single, you should take this time to do some of the things that you wanted to do, needed to do or didn’t do while you were tied up in a relationship.
As women, we sometimes tend to lose ourselves when we’re in a relationship and when the relationship ends, we simply don’t know what to do with ourselves. I know when I first separated from my ex-husband, I was completely discombobulated because I was so used to doing so much for him that I kind of felt like I didn’t have enough to do on the daily because of that.
It took me some time to get used to not worrying about if he took his blood pressure meds, had something to eat that day, setting doctors appointments for him, making sure his child support was paid, checking on his parents and making visits to his son’s school for programs etc., and realize the only person I truly had to worry about was ME. I was a little lost and even bored to say the least because I wasn’t used to doing for just me after so many years and now I was back to square one. During this time there was one thing I did realize and that was I hadn’t really done anything for me.
Being single can be detrimental at first if you’re used to being in a relationship, but it can also be a good time to get some things done for yourself. Reach some goals that you may have put off or just have some much needed time with girlfriends or just simply dating yourself. Here are a few things I have been doing while living the “single life.”
- Revisit goal list: I keep a journal of things that I want to do and need to do. Any goals I have written down that I haven’t got around to or achieved, I’ve revisited them and have started working on those goals to make them happen.
- Spending time with family & friends: While I was married, I didn’t get much time to spend with family and friends because I was always busy. I didn’t totally neglect them, but since my ex worked out of town and wasn’t home as much, I used to keep myself really busy with work, school and running around for him. Most of the time if I wasn’t doing that, I was on the phone with him trying to catch up, see how is day was going etc. So now that I am single, I have been spending more time catching up with friends, hanging out and pretty much enjoying life.
- Evaluate yourself: I have been taking this time to evaluate myself as it relates to things I may want to change about myself, both mentally and physical. I have been working on building my empire as well as my weight which I have been struggling with for the last few years or should I say all my life.
- Date yourself: Spend some time taking yourself on little dates. Whether you go see a movie alone, have a couple lunch or dinner dates a month, spa time, etc., just take some time to really pamper yourself.
- Have fun: Go out as much as possible. If people are having BBQs, parties, or whatever GO. Don’t make excuses to stay in the house, get out and truly enjoy yourself and your life. Yes, you’re single, but getting out helps you meet new people and maybe you won’t be single as long as you think you are.
- Date: Go out on dates with different guys without really tying yourself down really fast. If you have had guys that are interested in you, even as a friend, go out with them. Allow them to court you and take you places. I mean who doesn’t want to have a free concert, play, dinner or whatever in a while. Enjoy this time to let guys cater to you and may the best man win.
- Read: I have found that I have more time to read books. Dig into some really good books that you may have purchased a while back but have been on the shelf collecting dust.
- Travel: Take little mini vacations throughout the year. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant all the time you can just get in the car and ride to the nearest beach or just visit another city in your town. Take time to relax and get away from your everyday life and possibly meet some new people to connect with.
There are plenty of other things you can do as well, but these are some things I have been doing in my single spare time. Being single doesn’t have to feel like it’s a handicap, it can be a time where you really work on yourself so once you get in your next relationship, you’ll be a better person for you and your mate.
Photo: Google Images
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