It’s been a while since I wrote for The T-Spot, but I had been trying to think of some new things to write about. I have an entire list of topics, but to be honest, I was trying to sort out which ones to do first and see if I could organize them in some type of order, but seriously it’s really no way to do that.
Just like trying to be super organized with this series doesn’t always work out, the same goes for relationships. As I embark on a new journey into being single again and enter this new world of dating, I had to really sit down and think about just how I want to approach my next relationship. Like, what rules and guidelines will I set for myself after having being married seven years to mista and dealing with so much. Truth is, I can’t truly go into my next relationship comparing it to what was, but I have to go in with a clean slate, but at the same time determine the things that I will and won’t deal with.
All of this brought me to thinking about relationship deal breakers. There can be tons of relationship deal breakers if you really think about it, but it’s up to you whether or not you will allow certain things to break up your relationship or work through them. I honestly think pretty much anything is possible to work through if the other party is willing as well, but then again, there are a couple of things to me that are just unforgivable and I will not tolerate.
The biggest deal breaker for me is cheating. There are so many things that can come along with cheating that even if you forgive the person it can be hard to move on from. I once read a quote that said “just because a person cheats on you doesn’t mean they don’t love you just like we sin and still love God.” I agree with that statement to some extent because it is very true. I fall short daily when it comes to my Savior, but I still love and respect Him. To me, humans are different.
Just because a person cheat doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love you, it could mean a number of things. One, it could mean they are naturally cheaters. Two, they are lacking something in the relationship. Three, they simply got caught up at a vulnerable time. Am I saying it’s okay to cheat, no, but there are levels.
In my opinion, level two and three can be forgiven, but the habitual cheater has a problem and that’s just who they are and there’s nothing you can do about it besides MOVE ON!!!
Cheating that I consider unforgivable are those cheaters who continue to cheat on you with multiple people and/or one person over a period of time no matter what you try to do and make it work. The worst situation of all is to create a child from the cheating. I can deal with a lot of things, but if you make a baby I’m out of there.
Another deal breaker for me is being secretive. Anyone who is always hiding something like their phone or whatever has something to hide and at that point it’s time for me to make an exit.
Baby mama and family drama is a deal breaker as well. Relationships are hard enough dealing with the people fighting to stay in love, extra influence and unnecessary drama from the outside just puts an even more strain on it.
I would love to hear from you all. What are some of your relationship deal breakers???
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