After I decided to leave Mista, there were so many times I wanted to go back to him even after all the hurt, heartache and pain because I just couldn’t fathom being alone again. Being without him just didn’t seem right. Just didn’t seem like it was supposed to be this way.
I’m really a private person so I pretty much kept my feelings to myself for a long time until one day I decided to open up to one of my girlfriends who said I had to “mourn the relationship.” At first, I was thinking ‘what the hell is she talking about. Nobody died,’ but truth is a part of me did die. I felt like a part of my soul had left my body because we weren’t one anymore.
This process took me quite some time. To be honest, I’m not even sure how much time because I really wasn’t even counting. Didn’t even think about the whole “mourning the relationship” process just went through the motion. I finally realized that I was completely over him when it wasn’t hard for me to keep myself from saying ‘I love you’ when we got ready to hang up. I didn’t feel the need to call him throughout the day and check on him, see if he had eaten or taken his blood pressure meds. I no longer felt guilty for leaving him because I know I wasn’t in the wrong even though I wasn’t perfect. Before long, I didn’t even feel the urge to talk to or call him at all.
Finally, I was completely over it… Well so I thought!!!