While most people are in a rush to get married because either they’re in love with the idea of being married or they’ve gotten caught up by an unplanned pregnancy, that is the farthest thing from Nia Long’s mind. Unlike most people in a hurry to walk down the aisle, she is happy with her life as it is right now, and she’s not apologizing for it.

During an exclusive interview with Essence, Nia revealed that marriage is just not a priority for her.

“Marriage is not a priority for me. I’m not saying I’ll never do it; It’s just not where we are as a family.”

The single mother of two sons, 10-year-old Massai and 8-month-old Kez Sunday, just is more about at a very happy place in her life right now with her man and doesn’t plan on letting people scrutinize her for her decision.

“I’ll be at home with my man, having a perfectly loving time, and I’ll see all these comments on some site about how wrong I am for not being married,” she says. “I don’t feel less loved or less loving because I’m not married.”

Nia also admitted to “never seeing a marriage work” that’s why she decided to focus more on reaching “emotional maturity” — which not only in her life with her current boyfriend Udoka, but also with Massai’s father.

“Massai’s dad and I have had the most challenging times, and I wasn’t always sure we wouldn’t end like my mother and father,” she says. “But we’ve arrived at a place where I can truly say he’s not a baby daddy, he’s my friend, finally. He is an amazing father.”

She has since also reconciled with her own father. Nia says the father and daughter bond they’ve built is what made her reevaluate her and evolve in her personal life.

“I’m a lot calmer. Less clingy and demanding. When Ime has to be gone for long stretches at a time, as he had to the first few months after Kez was born, I took it as an opportunity to nest,” she explains.

“It had been a minute since I had an infant and I had to get back into the rhythm of being a new mom. I really enjoyed having the space to do that at my own pace.”

“Motherhood is not easy, but it’s natural,” she says. “I worked hard to have the career I wanted, but I’ve also been deliberate about my personal life. None of this is a mistake.”

I can’t say I blame Nia, marriage really isn’t something you want to jump in just because of what other people think. It’s not for everybody. Look at Oprah and Stedman, they have been together almost 30 years no marriage and they are happy as can be. Whose to say that marriage defines relationships? Nowadays, I don’t even think people really get married for love, they get married for convenience or because everyone else is doing it. The best thing to do is do what is best for you regardless of what anyone says, thinks or feel is best for you and your life.