For Discussion: How Many Is Too Many When It Comes To Dating Men With Kids & Multiple Baby Mothers

Shawty-Lo-All-My-Baby-Mamas-Reality-Show-On-Oxygen-MainBoth me and my baby sister are single and all the time we have little discussions about the type of men we will and will NOT date.

One of our latest discussions has been on dating men with a bunch of damn kids and baby mothers. Now don’t get me wrong, just because a man has multiple kids and baby mothers doesn’t make him a bad man and/or person, a little irresponsible in his younger days, but a bad person no. I have met a couple of guys that have more than one child and baby mother that were pretty decent guys. They love and care for their kids but things just didn’t work out for whatever reason.

Anywho, my sister and I were talking about dating men with more than one child and baby mother and we both feel some type of way about it. I don’t have any kids and my sister only has one so we’re pretty strict when it comes to that. I was married to a man with a child (well at the time I only thought he had one come to find out that lying ass fucker had two which made him have another baby mother as well. Chick got pregnant right before I met him and he didn’t bother to tell me he had a baby on the way while we were dating. I didn’t find out that child til a year after we were married, but that’s a-whole-nother post) and it wasn’t easy to deal with because that NICCA didn’t have shit under control. His first child’s mother was hell on wheels honey and in the beginning I was always there with him going back and forth to court of what not until I woke up one day and was like ‘I didn’t choose that bitch chick he did so let him deal with that shit.’ So, I left well enough alone.

Now that I’m heading back out into the dating world (hopefully before the year is out, not sure if I’m ready just yet **SIDE EYE), I’ve been thinking hard about what I will and WILL NOT tolerate, deal with, go for, etc., and this is one of the things that always seems to pop up based on my last relationship/marriage as well. Dating a man with multiple kids and baby mothers is no joke. First of all, relationships are hard enough and has its ups and downs without all the extra added drama, but to have a man with multiple kids from multiple mothers is just too much.

Think about it this way, if you’re dating a man that has three kids from three different women, those are 6 different people outside of him that you have to deal with on a regular basis not to mention his parents, particularly his mother because most of the time they cause relationship drama as well. AND… If he doesn’t have those chicks in check, get ready for a ride full of drama and mess and just whatever that chick wants to bring.


no-baby-mama-dramaOne thing I absolutely refuse to deal with is baby mama drama because I feel it’s totally unnecessary. In relationships, sometimes thing just don’t work out and you move on. The person I truly blame the most for baby mama drama are the men. Why you ask, because the man is the head and if he puts his foot down, there won’t be any drama.

A lot of times there is drama because the man is still dipping back and forth messing with the child’s mother causing the woman to have mixed emotions which in essence causes her to react in a negative towards the new woman or girlfriend. If the man puts the chick in her place, none of that would be going on. Yes, there are some chicks that love drama and will do anything to create drama, but 9 times out of 10 if that man handles his business and demands respect from her, she won’t. There’s just something about a man with authority that puts any kind of woman in her place. PERIOD!

Now, I said all that not to exclude dating men with kids, but I have my boundaries. I refuse to date or get in a serious relationship with a man with a football team of kids and mothers. It’s just too much for me. I feel like it’s too much to deal with and since I don’t have kids, that’s the last thing I need is a man with a ton of kids with all this money going out the house to Jessica, Jane and Judy for all their kids. Like, what are we gone do if I become pregnant and have a baby? Am I supposed to deal with his shortcomings for our child because he has all these children? No sir. I refuse.

So, my question is to you ladies… Where do you draw the line? How many is too many when it comes to dating a man with kids and baby mothers??? I would love to hear from you!

**DisclaimHER** This blog post was written solely on my experience and opinion. It’s not written to be male bash or be offensive to anyone in the situation or who has dealt with the situation. I just have some things on my mind and want to hear how my readers feel about it. No need for anyone to get their panties in a bunch. Please and thank you!

Meiqua Yushundra
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Meiqua Yushundra

HCIC | Blog Extraordinaire | Fashion Vixen | Beauty Beast | Magazine Maven | Radio Show Co-Host | at TractHer TrailHer
Meiqua Yushundra
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  40. Im in a similar situation but i have two kids with this guy and yes i am baby momma #5 what stresses me out the most is that i feel that i will never be a top priority to him because everytinevi look ul he is always on the pho e with them and with all tge child support he pays he dosent have money to spend on us insfead i find myseof paying for triPs dinners etc. not really sure what to dovat this point because i feel sometimes i am being taken advantage of

  41. I am currently dating a man with 3 kids from 3 different mothers. It’s early in the relationship so I’ve been browsing blogs and websites looking for insight. So far… The latest baby mama is not happy and it stresses me out because, like you said, the relationship between him and any of his exes needs to be firmly established. I feel like I am slowly learning more about each ex and it stresses me out. On one hand, he’s had his experiences and it has matured him, but on the other…. what were you thinking to get 3 different women knocked up before the age of 25?? What makes me think I’m not going to be 4?

    I just think about my future… and what it looks like with those 6 other people that play a big role in his life. Those 3 women that he will always care for because they are the mother of his child…. stressful! Does my future play a role? What about the family I wanted to have and the atmosphere I wanted to set up in my future household? Is it all worth it… is he THAT wonderful that I’m willing to give up certain goals I have for a family and to build relationships with these women that I never pictured having in my life? To get along with one mom is a blessing… all three, a miracle?

    Clearly- I’m torn. He loves me, wants to make me happy, shows me how committed he is, and I’d totally commit to him if I didn’t have to make 6 other commitments. Harsh?

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