controlHER: 3 Signs Your Mate Is a Control Freak


Photo: shimmykotu

Ever been with someone that was controlling or maybe you know someone who has a controlling mate?  Here are the signs that your mate may have control issues:

  1. Your Appearance. If your mate is a control freak he or she will insult your appearance rather than compliment how you look.  A controlling mate would insult things like: your weight, your makeup, the clothes you wear, your hair.  Eventually, after being insulted rather than complimented over a period of time will ultimately lower your self-confidence and you may begin to “let yourself go.”  You go from feeling highly confident to feeling low and unattractive.  Most controlling mates don’t want you to feel good about yourself so that you don’t want look good, so that other people would find you unattractive.  These type of controlling mates are afraid that if you look too appealing that someone else would want to have you for themselves.
  2. Phone. Your inability to have your own personal phone (cell or land-line), know your mate’s telephone number, or if you have to give your mate your phone everyday so that he or she may check your phone history, he/she is a #controlHER.  TRUE STORY—I had someone contact me regarding a hair service.  I missed the call and had to contact this person back.  When I called back, the boyfriend answered, I explained who I was and the reason for my call.  After explaining he told me that his girlfriend contacted me and he would tell her to give me a call back.  Long story short, the girlfriend called back to set up an appointment, when asked for a good number to be reached there were crickets….she was like I don’t know the number.  It’s my boyfriend’s phone number.  So….I’m wondering why don’t you know your own man’s number?  First thought, he must be a control freak because what other reason would your girlfriend not have her on phone to call to make an appointment and then don’t have a clue what your number is.  Um….enough said.  Nothing seemed right about that situation.
  3. Family and Friends. Typically controlling mates try to find reasons for you to dislike your family and friends.  #ControlHERs do this so that they can make you feel that you have none else to lean on in life but them, your controller.  So when things go bad and the controlling person begin to reveal his or her true self to you, you won’t know who to call on because you have disconnected with people in your life who truly love and care about your well-being.

Protect yourself from these kinds of relationships by recognizing the signs of a controlHER.

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